I don’t hope for you… I am expecting you.
Hoping would mean the uncertainty of your existence.
Hoping is not enough…HE doesn’t tell me to hope..HE tells me to wait.
Waiting means preparing myself for you..
Waiting means becoming who God wants me to be..a woman after his own heart.
A Proverbs 31 woman.. a Ruth.. a Sarah.. a Naomi
However long it takes.. I will wait
I’m at total peace with this, I rather wait for you then be with different imitations of you.
When you find me.. and I finally get all of my 1000 confirmations.. I will unveil for you and
bring down my guard for you.
Be certain that I will love you like you have never been loved before. You are always in the
back of my mind, yet in a place very easily reached. Know that the wait as begun even now,
I appreciate you now. I pray for you now. I determine how I will identify you, those things
are revealed to me daily as I prepare for you. As I remain in my purpose, on the narrow
path.. with HIM.
I know we will have to build, I know we will have to work…but as long as I know.. God sent
YOU…I will gladly roll up my sleeves.
If you think you knew love before, you were wrong.
Whatever we experienced in the past will never amount to the love you and I will share…
I will see you with my spirit. I will touch you with my mind. I will hold you with my soul. I
will… speak life into you and bring out the king within you. When you open your eyes in
the morning I will bless you as you leave home and when you return to me in the evening I
will welcome you with love at the door. I will partner with you in serving our Lord and
people will be drawn onto him by watching us. Our story will glorify HIM.
I want us to be an example of what a godly marriage should be like.
I want our marriage to encourage and give hope to others.
I want to know you fully, completely, entirely.. even the dark corners of you. I will love you
beyond anything you have ever been, said, or done.
I want to love you entirely, unconditionally…your spirit, your body, your mind.
I will be kind to you, I will be patient, I will do my best to kill my pride.
I will not be self-seeking, I will not be easily angered..most of the time, I will keep no
record of your wrongs…I will try to see you as God see you.
My love I honor you, I will always hope in us, always trust in you, always protect our bond.
I will rejoice and delight with you in truth and we will always persevere
Through the daily trials, through the seasons of highs and lows,
True love ordained by God never fails
Because of this I know that our love will make it until the end
My Godsent, a year ago my life was so shaky, my future was unclear
I questioned my ability to be a wife
I thought maybe marriage was just never meant for me
Today I am typing this as I wait for you, and everything in my life has changed.
Because of Christ I have lost the shame of my mistakes, I understand that I needed to get
through the wilderness in order to get to you.. to the best that God has always had for me.
I was not ready for you, I wandered looking for happiness in the wrong things.
I wouldn’t give God my all.. in fear of losing the little bit that I felt I deserved. Today I left
it all at his feet and he has brought me back to life. Places within me that were darkened
and rotted have regained circulation. I see the evidence of God in my life like I have never
seen before. This is why waiting is not an issue for me. I understand that my waiting is not
in vain. I understand that this time period is crucial to my spiritual
development in becoming who I am created to be. The Christian I am created to be, the
wife I am created to be, the mother I am created to be and to walk in the destiny that
was written for me since conception. I want ALL of what God has for me, all of God’s
best…and that includes you…my love…my Godsent…my one. I must tell you that I am not
perfect in fact, I am so flawed. The hardest part will be to allow you to see the real me.
When you’ve guarded to heart for so long, it becomes second nature to remain veiled.
My goal is to become completely transparent with you, because I know you will see me
with the eyes of Christ and you will love all of me. I know that your strength will meet my
weaknesses because I was made for you. I desire so deeply to be led by you my anointed
one. You are my gift, you are my blessing. I am doing my part even now as I wait to clean
up the slate of my past hurts in order to give us a healthy start. This includes forgiveness
or others and of myself. Exiting everyone permanently ..every.. single.. one OUT of my
life. Breaking all of my soul ties. MOST OF ALL…renewing my mind everyday with his word
as he heals the deepest pains within me. I think of you often, from afar I watch you. I feel
connected to you in so many ways, yet I am on the outskirts. Waiting for God to move, to
reveal, and allow us to begin our journey. If I could send you a message, it would be that
you are loved & honored even now by the wife of your youth. I would want you to know
that I am yours even in this moment as I honor God with everything I am. YOU are the one
I have always wanted my entire life and was too weak to wait for..until now. You are the
reason I refuse to settle. I love you…from afar. V