I wait for you…

I don’t hope for you… I am expecting you.
Hoping would mean the uncertainty of your existence.
Hoping is not enough…HE doesn’t tell me to hope..HE tells me to wait.
Waiting means preparing myself for you..
Waiting means becoming who God wants me to be..a woman after his own heart.
A Proverbs 31 woman.. a Ruth.. a Sarah.. a Naomi
However long it takes.. I will wait
I’m at total peace with this, I rather wait for you then be with different imitations of you.
When you find me.. and I finally get all of my 1000 confirmations.. I will unveil for you and
bring down my guard for you.
Be certain that I will love you like you have never been loved before. You are always in the
back of my mind, yet in a place very easily reached. Know that the wait as begun even now,
I appreciate you now. I pray for you now. I determine how I will identify you, those things
are revealed to me daily as I prepare for you. As I remain in my purpose, on the narrow
path.. with HIM.
I know we will have to build, I know we will have to work…but as long as I know.. God sent
YOU…I will gladly roll up my sleeves.
If you think you knew love before, you were wrong.
Whatever we experienced in the past will never amount to the love you and I will share…
I will see you with my spirit. I will touch you with my mind. I will hold you with my soul. I
will… speak life into you and bring out the king within you. When you open your eyes in
the morning I will bless you as you leave home and when you return to me in the evening I
will welcome you with love at the door. I will partner with you in serving our Lord and
people will be drawn onto him by watching us. Our story will glorify HIM.
I want us to be an example of what a godly marriage should be like.
I want our marriage to encourage and give hope to others.
I want to know you fully, completely, entirely.. even the dark corners of you. I will love you
beyond anything you have ever been, said, or done.
I want to love you entirely, unconditionally…your spirit, your body, your mind.
I will be kind to you, I will be patient, I will do my best to kill my pride.
I will not be self-seeking, I will not be easily angered..most of the time, I will keep no
record of your wrongs…I will try to see you as God see you.
My love I honor you, I will always hope in us, always trust in you, always protect our bond.
I will rejoice and delight with you in truth and we will always persevere
Through the daily trials, through the seasons of highs and lows,
True love ordained by God never fails
Because of this I know that our love will make it until the end
My Godsent, a year ago my life was so shaky, my future was unclear
I questioned my ability to be a wife
I thought maybe marriage was just never meant for me
Today I am typing this as I wait for you, and everything in my life has changed.
Because of Christ I have lost the shame of my mistakes, I understand that I needed to get
through the wilderness in order to get to you.. to the best that God has always had for me.
I was not ready for you, I wandered looking for happiness in the wrong things.
I wouldn’t give God my all.. in fear of losing the little bit that I felt I deserved. Today I left
it all at his feet and he has brought me back to life. Places within me that were darkened
and rotted have regained circulation. I see the evidence of God in my life like I have never
seen before. This is why waiting is not an issue for me. I understand that my waiting is not
in vain. I understand that this time period is crucial to my spiritual
development in becoming who I am created to be. The Christian I am created to be, the
wife I am created to be, the mother I am created to be and to walk in the destiny that
was written for me since conception. I want ALL of what God has for me, all of God’s
best…and that includes you…my love…my Godsent…my one. I must tell you that I am not
perfect in fact, I am so flawed. The hardest part will be to allow you to see the real me.
When you’ve guarded to heart for so long, it becomes second nature to remain veiled.
My goal is to become completely transparent with you, because I know you will see me
with the eyes of Christ and you will love all of me. I know that your strength will meet my
weaknesses because I was made for you. I desire so deeply to be led by you my anointed
one. You are my gift, you are my blessing. I am doing my part even now as I wait to clean
up the slate of my past hurts in order to give us a healthy start. This includes forgiveness
or others and of myself. Exiting everyone permanently ..every.. single.. one OUT of my
life. Breaking all of my soul ties. MOST OF ALL…renewing my mind everyday with his word
as he heals the deepest pains within me. I think of you often, from afar I watch you. I feel
connected to you in so many ways, yet I am on the outskirts. Waiting for God to move, to
reveal, and allow us to begin our journey. If I could send you a message, it would be that
you are loved & honored even now by the wife of your youth. I would want you to know
that I am yours even in this moment as I honor God with everything I am. YOU are the one
I have always wanted my entire life and was too weak to wait for..until now. You are the
reason I refuse to settle. I love you…from afar. V



My one


I want the man who is not after every woman, thinking she could be the one.

I want the man who patiently waits upon the Lord.. for me.

I want the man who is busier serving HIM than  impressing women with his knowledge of scripture.

I want THAT man! I see him in my dreams…

He is so anointed, his obedience shines brighter than an Armani suit

His reverence to the Lord makes him undeniably attractive and I am drawn..

To his spirit.. the package he comes in is irrelevant

Minor details..I will know him by his walk I will.. know him by his fruit

I want the man who is praying me into his destiny

I want that man.. who matches my purpose

I want THE man who is running, chasing after God like his life depends on it..

YES! That man… who never takes the credit

Who is slow to anger, kind, and loving….

Much like my father… I want THAT man.

What God has for me, no one can have… what God has for me.. no one can grab…

In the still and the quiet.. God still reveals..in the still and the quiet.. God still speaks..

In the still.. I know who I don’t want.. I know who’s NOT for me.. in the still….

In the still I observe .. and God speaks

This man is preparing for me as he waits

He is expecting me, knows what I am like even before he meets me

Our meeting will be a mere revelation of the promise God has made us both

And the shower of confirmation will seal what we both already know

What God will bring together.. no man will ever tear apart.

This is the man I am waiting for.. this is…my one true heart.










Silence the Noise

I want to silence the noise

In my life…so that I can hear your footsteps

Distractions causing electric stimulations that I often regret

My phone.. my phone it calls me to constantly check

likes, statuses and comments the noise is so loud I can’t hear…your steps

I need to follow, I need to go ..where you go I need to know what you know..

But I have these thoughts see.. these constants thoughts that I must express

and Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram …I can share my thoughts with such finesse

There I can, live out loud …make some noise.. and stand so proud

but the noise.. it drowns your still voice

my thoughts overpower your holy ghost poise

I want to silence.. the noise

So I have the time for you

To be intimate with you and to grow from your word

To do your will and serve in my church

To give back to my community and to have clarity in my purpose…THE NOISE

I need to silence the noise

To finally be alone with my thoughts

To sit in loneliness with you

Where I can expose the …deepest parts of me I need YOU

To restore me like you restored Israel.. I

need to be strengthened in the calm, I need to be molded in the light, I need to be

fully equipped by your sword I need to … silence the noise.



My Testimony

The greatest gift you can give the world…

Is to share your testimony

Of how God saved you from yourself..

Of how God delivered you from despair.

In sharing your testimony, you are fully restored

Instantly…just like so

Don’t ask me how, it’s not something I can explain in words

It’s almost like a HAHA moment that took decades to create itself

A mountain of lessons finally released into the universe

Shame-gone Blame-gone Burden-gone… just like that

I gave birth to it.. right there and released it into the Kingdom for His Glory!

I encourage you to share your testimony in the way God tells you to..

Because full restoration will not come until he can use it through..

To reach another.. touch another.. draw another onto him…

See how that works..

Your testimony can save a soul today…share it.. here is mine.







I’m done.

What good is it?

To be open, to be willing

When you always end up broken


What use is it?

To love and cherish

When the love you gave will eventually perish


What’s the point of it all?

I don’t get it…I’m done with it

I’ll harden up and play the game like everybody else


I’m not about to give it all..

Just so I can lose myself

Maybe I wasn’t made for this..


I’m done with it, done caring

I don’t even wanna entertain the thought

Of putting love on replay

I’ll date myself and cherish myself.. all day.


What’s love been anyway..

Empty promises, chattered dreams, endless disapointment

I give you 100% of me .. and receive less in return

That’s not love that’s just asking to be burned


I’m DONE.. from now on, guards are up

I’m tired of caring.. now I just don’t give a fuck.






Is it really difficult to trust?

We always say, trust is a must

Without trust we have nothing

Yet when we trust, we risk everything

To be vulnerable, accessible, stripped of all defenses

To remain open for the exchange of love and affection

To let go of the fear of getting hurt

To let go of the fear of being lied to

Because even when we choose NOT to trust

Love can STILL be unjust

So is trust really an illusion of protection?

Truth is, when we don’t trust…we don’t experience true love

We experience a fragment of what we think is love

To truly experience love, we must risk our trust

Knowing that regardless of the outcome, love is worth it

Knowing that a heart will always heals, and always learns regardless

Knowing that when we trust, we get trust in return

Can we truly love without trust?

So give it your all, you have one life

Jump with your eyes closed, savor the moment

Trust…broken or whole

It is a simple choice that defines the depth of two souls

Out of the Blue

Out of the blue, there came you

Your substance was pure, enticing

In the time of a conversation, we became old friends

Wide open, receptive, out of the blue


In a flash, but for what seemed ages

I fell deeper into you

Completely wrapped in your everything

Laughter, simplicity, electric surrender

All I knew is I wanted more…out of the blue


Timing could be danger

But why dwell on the what ifs..

When the moment is easy to miss

I’m willing to take a risk

Out of the blue


Love is a wave of butterflies

It comes unexpected, and takes your breath away

It leaves you completely paralized

Makes you question every prior decision…

Out of the blue.. there came you


One day at a time

No expectations, no demands.. just US

We make our own rules

Live life OUR way

In the moment, in the sky

Out of the blue..as long as I’m with you.