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LoVe

Fall in love with someone’s reality.

Not for who they appear to be.

Not for what you hope to change them into.

Or what you imagined they could be.

Fall in love with what makes them so insecure, their scars, their wrinkles, their cellulite.

Fall in love with what they may consider imperfections, but what you see as their uniqueness.

Fall in love with their humanness, give them room to be their true self.

Fall in love with their mess-ups and how they turn to you for support.

Fall in love with how they truly don’t have it all together but how they are perfectly mended in Christ.

Fall in love with someone’s reality

Acceptance. Tolerance. Forgiveness. One.479c6cce6ae5a80d59ac14de132bae00-900x733

 

I AM that I AM!

There is more power in your words than in your thoughts!

God has been teaching me about the power of words. Sure I can speak encouragement and life into other people. Where I struggle is speaking life to MYSELF. I am my own worst critic. I am hard on myself… and often I beat myself up. Then I wonder why I am an over thinker, a worry wart and I wonder why the lingering sadness within me. DUH! I have been criticizing and complaining to myself about myself for years. God says it’s time TO STOP. It’s time to plant new seeds into your soil. Plant seeds of life and encouragement into YOUrself. What is the truth? The word of God tells me everything I need to  know about who I am. I am first of all a divine creation. I am chosen and called by the almighty God! I am anointed by the holy spirit. I am new everyday! I am forgiven! My shame is GONE! My sins are GONE! My brokenness is GONE! I am delivered! I am FREE! I am SO DEEPLY ADORED! I am beautiful because I am gentle, kind, honest, patient, caring, and sweet! He says I am a daughter of Zion, he says I am a heavenly flower.. unique and wonderful. I shine not because I compete with anyone but because I am made by him and with my own very special gifts. I am BLESSED and I am HIS and that means I AM COVERED!! I am so full when I speak life to myself. I am full of worship and gratitude to my Lord! I am full of love for others and love for my enemies. I am FULL… when I speak life to myself. When I plant seeds of grace and love into my own soil.. I will harvest grace and love for others. Thoughts don’t have as much power as words.. YOUR WORDS TO YOURSELF should always speak LIFE and TRUTH. What words are you proclaiming today? What you sow today ..you will walk into.. tomorrow. Prov 17:27, Prov 16:24lotus-flower

Broken

I am the broken woman

She has loved too much, too hard, too fast

She has given ALL to the wrong ones

She exhausted her capacity to sustain his verbal blows

She could no longer fulfill the job of keeping his happiness

Destroyed by his neglect and disconnect

Created by his degrading and humiliation

Slowly she put her fists down, she gave up fighting for their vows

Her pain made all the next choices

The necrosis of her heart made her numb to the voice of God

She sought to numb more

She sought to feel less

It’s been years since.. and yet

I don’t know how to let go of all the pain he caused

All the holes he left in my soul

All the open wounds in my heart

I just want to let go and renew my mind….

I thought I forgave because I moved on

I thought I was okay because  I am no longer angry

I want to forget but the residue reminds me

That I am paralyzed from the agony..

That I am crippled by the scar tissue

I am now damaged.. a broken woman

Broken because she ALWAYS loved the wrong ones

But .. all the while.. it was me that had it all wrong

Looking for a man to be my God

Instead of allowing God to be my man

Trying to fill the space in my heart with another human

Expecting that human to complete me, to fill my gaps

Who was I kidding.. What was I thinking..

Dear Lord replenish my capacity to love. You alone are  my source. Show me how to let go of everything everything everything.. the emotional abuse, the pain, the abandonment, the insults, and the lies I believed for so long. Show me who I am Lord, show me who I am to YOU. Because if you say I am, then I am. THIS is what I desire to believe Lord, but my heart is so hurt it won’t follow my mind…renew my mind with your vision of me.

Close up my wounds, cleanse me, cleanse me, cleanse my soul, cleanse my heart, cleanse my infections, cleanse me. I release the pain of my rejection, the pain of the abuse of my marriage, the pain of abandonment, I no longer want this pain to affect my relationships or to be evident in my personality.

Help me to trust again, to love again, to forgive again, to laugh again, to embrace people again. Help me to be ME, the me you created to be.. to live in the fullness of you. HELP ME RELEASE MY PAIN.. HEAL ME, RESTORE ME, PUT ME BACK TOGETHER. I want to give it all to you, all the ugly, all of it.. my life belongs to you. In Jesus’ name . Amen.

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There is something so beautiful about having Christ in the center of marriage. When two people try to do marriage without God…it is doomed to fail. I’ve tried loving by my own strength and I am incapable! We cannot even fathom real love. 1 Corinthians 13:4 is an out of this world kind of love, impossible to accomplish.. it is filled with nevers and always and can really make us feel inadequate for love. But when Christ is at the center of marriage  he guides us to depend on God’s strength to love our spouse. To love him/her not by our own self but with the love of God that is within us. To tap into that power is the only way we can truly love anyone. To love our spouse the way God loves us….with their sin, with their flaws…with their mistakes…with their disappointments…and yet still…LOVE them, support them, forgive them, not keeping score, covering them in prayer, speaking life into them…seeing them like they are the best thing that ever happened! God enables us to see them like HE sees us. I’ve seen it…it is possible WITH GOD.. ALL things are possible…be patient and don’t settle. God knows exactly what you need.16387956_1213341188787335_1629563260984176192_n

This is a conference you don’t want to miss!!! This is 3 days of life changing experiences with God !!! This is investing in YOUR spirit !!! You CANNOT afford to miss this conference in Memphis. Last year’s conference turned my entire life around. I have nothing to gain by promoting it.. except the knowledge of how God used it to reach me. PLEASE COME! Drive, fly, take a bus… get here!!  www.hopechurchmemphis.com/noregrets

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Love Language

Show me how you want to be loved

What makes you happy

What makes you smile

Sit.. talk for a while

What makes you feel cherished

What makes you feel safe

Love is selfless…not self-ish

I want to love you… the way YOU want to be loved

Share with me.. what makes you giddy

What makes you feel adored

In the silence, in the calm

Nuzzled in the quiet, in the still…

How do I love you..

Allow me discover all the ways

Everyday you will know how important you are to me

Everyday you will be certain of my love you will see

You will never have to guess

Never have to question

My love for you will be one in  7 billion

Because I will love you the way you want to be loved

Not the way.. I want to love you

Love is self-less… not self-ish

#dearfuturehusband

agape-love

All I ever wanted was to know him

I couldn’t have cared less about his money

I wanted him to notice me

Look daddy, I’m a good girl.. I have straight A’s

I’m the best reader and I never get in trouble

Adolescence brought the twist in the knife that was already in my heart

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!!”

” WHY DOESN’T HE WANT ME!!!”

All I ever wanted was to know him

I couldn’t have cared less about his money

I wanted him to be with ONLY me

Look baby, I’m the good girl you need in your life!

I will love you forever, raise your children as my daughters

But his taste for drugs and women showed signs of immaturity

I couldn’t keep him mine.. I couldn’t keep him happy.

” WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!!”

“WHY DOESN’T HE WANT ME!!!”

All I ever wanted was to know him

I couldn’t have cared less about his money

I overlooked all the red flags so we could be a family

Hey love, I’m wife material.. I’m a real one!

I will put you first even before myself, I will give you my all

But he never recognized my worth

He looked right through me at his own reflection.. only saw himself

Years of distance between us turned us into strangers

I became empty.. of me.. of all…depression.

” WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!”

” WHY DOESN’T HE WANT ME!!!”

I don’t claim to be perfect. I have my flaws and my ways. This is just a poem of my reflections and how my life was affected by rejection.#dominoeffect