I remember the first day I met you, I had butterflies in my belly, like I was a school girl making a new friend. Wondering if you’d like me, if you’d let me hold your hand. I will never forget how you asked me on that very first day, if you could call me mommy.” I don’t think your mommy would like that” I replied, touched and thankful that in your heart, you allowed me to be. We grew closer with time, we laughed, had fun, you are one in a million.
A great big sister you were, there was a bond from the start. You looked after her, she made you giggle, she wanted to be just like you. She still does.
Not sure when things turned around, or when the smiles turned to frowns. My intentions were pure and true, that never changed towards you. Maybe I tried too hard, maybe I gave too much of me. Maybe I OVER cared or OVER loved. One thing I know now, no matter how much you love a child by choice. You must always keep in mind, there is another party. When that influence is dark and tinted, when lies are told and the truth is faded, there is not much to do. Step-mothers like me suffer in silence. Because we desire to be part of your life so badly and for you to be part of ours. But that is taken from you, by the words of a woman you adore more than any other person on this earth. Who will you listen to? Who will you believe? Of course your mother, I would have done the same as you. There is just one thing I need you to know, my beloved. It’s that on the day, you may need me. I will be there. When for some strange reason you decide to reach out to me, I will be there. Like a tree, that is rooted by your window, day and night. I will be there. All you have to do is extend your hand and I will show you that all along, I have loved you from afar. Hurt by your rejection yet knowing enough to know it wasn’t your fault. None of it is. If I had ten children, I would still love you this much! Because love always grows, the more people there is to love, the more love abounds. No one has to choose ONE person to love. Just like you don’t have to choose either. You can love us both and have us both. Because step-mother’s are mothers too…and step-daughters are daughters too.That is what you are to me, you always have been and you will always be. I love you Lexus.
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